So, a whole lot of nothing has been going over here in my neck of the woods. I somehow managed to get a case of reverse jet lag(ie going to bed early and waking up early like you normally do in the states coming from France) for the entirety of last week which of course is something only I could manage to do. Other than that, I've just been contemplating what I want out of 2008, I won't use that darn "R" word, but I really can't help but compare what 2007 brought into my life vs. what I want out of 2008. To be honest, 2007 was kind of a ginormous piece of merde. What with me being sick and ending up in the hospital's ER, my aunt unexpectedly dying, my childhood pet being put to sleep, my great uncle dying, I think it's safe to say I've seen much better years. Plus, last year I turned 25 which seemed like any other birthday in the beginning until slowly over time, I started to realize all of the things I didn't have going on in my life...no defined career path, no money, no family close by, no sense of being settled in a certain place and no one to share all this with. Genial. I also decided at the end of 2007 to quit the IUFM which was surprisingly a very easy decision, but also very disappointing and depressing.
I don't know how, but I somehow manage to remain optimistic despite myself, but I'm starting to feel like something's gotta give one of these days. I also have a ticket home for mid-July, but if I had my way, I would stay another 2-5 years. I know I can always go back to school just to be able to stay and work here, but that bugs me so much to not be progressing. I miss my family, I do, but I feel like I'm enjoying my time here, I'm getting experience teaching, I love Rennes and I love speaking French. The thought of going home and not speaking French every day just kills me. I've worked for so long and though I've done well, I still feel like there's always so much more to learn. Blah. Plus, if I go home now, my hometown will have none of my friends living there, ZERO, ZIP, ZILCH, NADA, PERSONNE. How sucky will my social life be? Very, very, VERY sucky. How am I ever going to meet someone there? It's a great place to grow up, great for families and older folk but it just is this blackhole of suckiness for people aged 18-30ish. Which leads me to what I wanted to share with you, dear reader.
So, I haven't completely been up to nothing at all. I actually hosted an American party this weekend(thanks for the pic, Sam!) for some fellow anglos and way too many French people. All in all, it was fun times with card games, Beer Pong and way too many cigarette breaks. Anyways, late in the night, I ended up having a chat with a platonic friend about past relationships, what we look for in another person and where we're at now. I miss hanging out with boys on a friend level and it was such a sincere conversation with no hidden agenda behind it, it really was great. At one point, I was telling him how it's been a while since I've been in a long-term relationship and I really have a lot of marre. He said, "mais, t'es marrante, jolie et intelligente. Tu vas surement trouver qqn qui te correspond." Later on in the night, when having a heart to heart with Roomie#1, I shared the sweet thing the Frenchie had said to me. Her response and I quote:
"C'est vrai. T'es ni thon, ni conne, ni pauvre fille."
Umm, gee, thanks. She really has a way with words, huh!?!