Strength

Well, after battling it out with the Rectorat and then after not hearing from them and receiving an email from the CIEP saying they had bien recu'd my dossier, I started to feel a teense better that I did still have the option of being an assistant if ever anything turned up. Well, being experienced with one person saying something and then another person saying something COMPLETELY different, I thought it best to email the CIEP and just confirm everything was fine. Well, at first they did, then I got this second email...

Après vérification, il apparaît que vous avez déjà travaillé deux fois en tant qu’assistante de langue, il ne vous est donc plus possible de postuler à nouveau. Merci de prendre bonne note de ce message.

Ok, well, since my contract isn't up yet, I assumed she was referring to 2004-2005 when I was an assistant and 2005-2006 when I renewed but didn't accept and according to them, quit. So, I wrote her back a nice, but firm email indicating that this year is my second time as an assistant and next year would be my third. The rules-as I knew them from the responsable for the primaire assistant ie someone WHO SHOULD KNOW-were that you can be an assistant three times total, with a max of two years in a row. Well, he told me the WRONG INFO which I found out in this next email...

Je pensais avoir été suffisamment précise, vous ne pouvez PAS renouveler votre contrat, la limite étant de deux années.

Wow and I thought that someone in an important role would not be so bitchy and also not use bubbly font that is inappropriately large and childish for even a 7th grader. Oh, I'm sorry, was that rude? So, this was my response because I couldn't let her get away with that, but I also wanted to be the bigger and better person...

Bonjour Mme Snarky,
Non, ce n'était pas clair, je pensais quand vous avez dit que j'ai déjà travaillé deux fois en tant qu'assistante que vous ne parliez pas de cette année comme ce n'est pas encore terminé. Donc, Monsieur Frenchy McFrencherson ne m'a pas indiquée la bonne information quand il a dit que j'avais le droit d'etre assistante une troisième fois. Merci quand-meme pour votre réponse et bonne journée.

I'm sorry, but telling someone something when you don't know that it is 100% correct and then leading someone to believe for three months(and what would have been longer had you not contacted them!) that their dossier was fine and dandy, is JUST SIMPLY WRONG. I'm pissed off because now that is one more possibility that is in the gutter. I don't know what I will do next year and I know if I have to go back, I will be ok. But, for now, I want to stay and I'm soooooo unbelievably annoyed at how impossible it is all seeming. I will do my best to keep positive and I can be an m'effer when I'm motivated, but Dieu give me strength! Wish me luck:/

PS-The red and all caps are supposed to represent my ANGER. Umm, in case you didn't get that already...

PPS-You might be wondering why there is a picture of a teeny bopper hunk. Well, when I did a search for Strong in google images this is what came up and I thought it was too funny and I needed to lighten the mood. Almost all my posts are me venting(sorry bout that.) Plus, who didn't love Boy Meets World? Haha!

A final au revoir?

Wow, so many crappy things have happened to me in the past month that you really start to wonder what you did to deserve it all! I believe things are meant to be and that things happen for a reason, now what reason that would be, I could not tell you. But, it's at least semi-comforting to know I'm meant for life to shite on me...well, because then I can do nothing about it, I guess.

On the job front, things are not looking good AT ALL. I was accepted to work at a language immersion program for July and August, but now that I'm probably leaving for good in August, I think I'll probably stay and try to find English lesson/babysitting jobs. Yeah, good luck, Leah. In any case, that was just a temporary thing to sort of have something to do while I waited out The Decision by the Inspection/Rectorat/Daric/Academie/CIEP/Your mom. It was going to allow things to be easier in terms of all my stuff here in France and money-wise when I (hopefully) would find out I was offered a post as an assistant for next year. As for June 2008, well, I would figure something out then. Well, now it's all gone to merde.


I found out today that because I renewed in 2005-2006 and then didn't take the post, they count that as a renewal and that I quit and since you can only be renewed once, I can't be accepted this year. Mother effers! The deal is you can only be an assistant three times total, 2 consecutive years max and you can only renew using the spiffy renewal form ONCE. Well, I would fulfill those requirements if they weren't counting 05-06 as me being renewed even though I didn't accept the poste. Now, I will try to work my way around this. But, it really is not looking good in the least, kids.

This is pretty much my only way to stay in France that I see as reasonable in terms of what I'm doing with my life-I feel au pairing or taking up studies just to be able to stay would be really taking a huge step backward. Although, maybe I could try out the CAPES or AGREG in order to eventually be a legit teacher. But, if I don't eventually become a citizen, all the studying would have been FOR NOTHING because you can only teach if you're a citizen. I dunnooooo. I maybe have an interview coming up, but I really doubt I would get it. But, please, please, PLEASE cross your fingers for me.



You know, I wasn't expecting to be renewed, but obviously still was counting it as POSSIBLE. To now learn it isn't possible because of an m-effing TECHNICALITY that they have not bothered to mention to me for the THREE MONTHS they've had my dossier....well that pisses me off. No, more than anything, it makes me sad. Sad to think about leaving and never coming back. Because if I don't get something for next year, I'm 99.9% sure that will mean au revoir to France for good. Siiiiigh...

Une recette pour vous

Ok, so this clearly is not a picture I took nor is the recipe exactly like the one I make, but I saw the limes and the pretty presentation and thought, perfect! Haha, so I wanted to make some sort of personal blogging record and post not once, not twice, but three times in one month! I also wanted to add in a lighter post as yesterday's ended on a majorly negative note. I must say I'm still feeling just about the same, but trying to distract myself from my painful head. So, without further delay, here she blows(sorry in advance for the shite french and lack of accents, but I'm lazy.)

Poulet marine/Sweet Marinated Chicken
2-4 escalopes de poulet/2-4 chicken breasts
4 gousses d'ail emincees/4 cloves minced garlic
65 ml. de jus de citron vert/1/4 c. lime juice
125 ml. d'huile d'olive/ 1/2 c. olive oil
30 ml. de jus de citron/ 1/8 c. lemon juice
30 ml. de miel/ 1/8 c. honey
sel et poivre/salt and pepper to taste

Melangez tous les ingredients tout ensemble avec le poulet et mettez au frigo pendant une heure. Apres, je mets sur 200 celsius au four et ca prend p-e a peu pres (je dirais) 30-40 minutes. Franchement, je regarde pour savoir et chaque fois je fais jamais attention.

Mix all ingredients together with the chicken and put in the fridge to marinate for an hour. Next, I can't really tell you what temp or the amount of time as I don't really pay attention. I would guess maybe 325 for 30-40 mins. Just keep an eye on the chicken and all should be fine!(I hope at least:)

Anyways, I totally love this recipe because it's so simple and it's things I always have in my house. I end up making it pretty often, actually. A tip is that if you don't have lime juice, you can replace that portion with lemon juice and it will still be delish. Happy cooking/eating!!!

As promised

Two posts in one month...I really deserve some sort of medal. Anyhoo, as promised, here are some pics from my April vacances trip.

These first two were taken from Lille where I started off. The first is the Place Gen. de Gaulle in the vieux part of the city. It was cute with a fountain in the middle and right near was the vieille bourse which was really pretty. The other pic you see is of a beautious peacock...there is a free zoo in Lille in a park that I stumbled upon by accident(you see some of the best things by accident in Europe, I swear!) There was a really good variety of animaux and I took way too many pics of animals, that I can definitely say. I ended up eating at a food stand-y thing right outside the entrance of the zoo. That made me sad as I was dying of hunger and ended up with a half-cooked cheese panini and fishy-tasting fries...yum. All in all, Lille was a nice city, though. It's definitely too big of a city for me, but was pretty and I'm glad I got to see it.

Next up, we have Bruges, Belgium(or Brugges as the Belgians call it.) Let me say, I fell in L-O-V-E with this city and already want to go back! Which is funny because Belgium never interested me before, but it definitely has peaked my interest now! I only had 5 hours which I actually believed to be 7 because military time still messes me up sometimes and that was def not enough time. Tant pis.

The first pic here is of the main place of the city...it had some sort of amusement park-y thing set up in the center which sort of took away from what I imagine it would normally look like. But, there was a cute fountain right in the middle and all the buildings, I mean like, every single last one were so beautiful. I took a seat on one of the benches after ordering some Belgian fries which I obviously HAD to try(they were delish.) Basically my time in Belgium consisted of a lot of walking and a lot of eating. Haha. After I had my fries, I went to this chocolate shop I read about in Rick Steves guide to pick up some chocolate as a present and some for myself. Then, I made my way to the Burg, then I took a canal(hence the 2nd pic) tour with 5,000 children and old people. It was actually pretty funny because the boat tour was in three different languages with French being second and English third, so the dude had to start talking about each thing we were to see wayyyy before the actual thing came up. By the time the English came, it was right next to us. Sucks if you don't speak English! After, I got a Belgian Waffle(also necessary and delish) and walked around where the shopping area is. I ended up a little early back at the train station where I proceeded to eat the majority of the chocolate I bought myself. Haha! All in all, a great day.

These pics are from my Loire valley castle tour. The first is Chenonceau and the second is Amboise. I ended up doing a half-day tour that was about 5 hrs long because I couldn't get a train from Lille to get me into Tours early enough to do the full-day one. I did get in about 2 hours before the tour started and got the chance to walk around Tours. It seemed like a cool city along the lines of Rennes, so I was happy to walk around aimlessly and with little knowledge of where I was going(ahem, kind of the theme of my trip.) Anyway, I was super happy to get rid of my backpack and start up the castle tour in our little minibus. Ever since I fell in love with french and France, I had always wanted to see the castles I had read about in so many books...especially Chenonceau and Azay-le-Rideau. Well, I didn't get to see AlR and so many others, so like Bruges, I will definitely need to go back!

We went to Chenonceau and I explored the interior as well as the gardens(didn't get to do the maze, though!) I could have easily spent two more hours there. I got myself a peppermint ice cream and strolled down the tree-lined path and tried to imagine what it was like to live there and all the history. I also decided Diane de Poitiers(the mistress who originally had the castle) was a) not that hot and b) got a pretty sweet deal in the end when the king's wife kicked her out, but gave her an entire other property. I decided I could totally be a mistress...that is, if I wanted to! After Chenon, we headed to Le Clos Luce which is the house Da Vinci spent his last three years in and that was ok, but I prefer castles I think. Next, we headed to Amboise which had kind of a sucky exterior in comparison to Chenon, but it did have a chapel where Da Vinci is allegedly buried, so that's pretty cool. Also, the city of Amboise was super cute and I would have liked to have more time to wander around. Although, I was a bit sick of wandering aimlessly by myself, so that will have to be for another time.

In other news, this has been a rough past two weeks for me after my vaca. I have been sick with a pain in my head(also general fogginess and nausea and some other unpleasantness I won't mention) for about three weeks now and these past two weeks, it has been getting worse and worse. I actually went to the emergency room this past Sunday after going to the doc twice, then for an x-ray and finally to get my blood taken. Now, if you know me, you probably know that I a) am a huge hypochondriac(how French!) and b) hate doctors/hospitals/anything medical, really. So add that in as a factor as to how stressed/terrified/upset I have been. The docs think it is a tension headache(ie when the muscles in your neck tense up and cause terrible headaches.) Well, I don't know what caused it...maybe my crappy mattress and pillow or maybe just general stress. But, it is still not gone and I finish up my meds today, so I prob am gonna have to go to get a neck/shoulder massage, go back to the doctor and/or go to the eye doc to make sure it's not related to possible eye problems. Oh, the joy! Plus, Friday was my b-day(25...yikes!) and I've had too many either just ok b-days or even a couple bad ones, so I was not thrilled to have the same thing happen this year. I did luckily have fun going out to din with my copines and dancing our tails off, but it just wasn't the same with my stress and the fact that I was very sober! Needless to say, I will be re-feting my anniversaire this Fri. Haha, you know me!!

Besides all the head pain stuff, I've also been feeling stressed about not knowing if I'm going to stay in France or not. I've applied for a summer job recently, so I'm waiting to hear from them, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much. Then, I also reapplied for next year, but renewing assistants are SO last priority that I don't have much hope for that either. On top of that, I waiver a lot, because besides my french friends and one English friend that is most likely staying and my love of Rennes and France, there isn't a whole lot more to convince me to keep being away from my family in the states. I miss seeing them every week and I just couldn't spend my whole life in another country away from them for years and years. I mean, there are options like if I can snag myself a frenchie, I could eventually do the AGREG/CAPES and be a teacher and spend the summers back home for example. But, if and when I have kids(yes, I know I'm getting ahead of myself here), I couldn't stand for my family to not see them very often at all. I just don't know. If I do end up back in the states this summer, I think it will be for good which makes me very sad, but I think that's the reality. I mean, I'm getting older and can't keep living backandforth like this. I will prob study to be a French teacher there, but again, not positive. Ugh.

Ok, well let me leave on a positive note after all that ranting:) I only have to work tomorrow and then have Tues off...yay! Alright, I'll be back sometime!!

One wonders....

...why I choose 30 mins before I'm supposed to leave to write a post when I could be doing more productive things? Truth is, I started vaca this past Mon and have had oodles of time where I could have updated, but I just don't know where to begin. It's just not like anything a-m-a-z-i-n-g has happened since I last posted in January. I've been up to the same ol', same ol'...teaching, vaca in Feb to Puerto Rico, sortir-ing, soirees with amis and dinners...ok, that sounded snooty, but nothing to REPORT report if ya know what I mean. I suppose if I updated this thing like every week, I could talk about what happened that week and would have interesting things to say. Well, I don't, so I won't.

But, I will say this. I am leaving today to head to Lille, Bruges(in Belgium) and Tours(Loire Valley) to see the castles. I am super, super excited! There is so much of France I have yet to see, so I wanted to focus on that this vaca and since the other assistants I'm good friends with(aka two people) already had plans with fam from home and the other with her boyfriend, it wasn't like I could finaigle my french friends into taking off a week from work. So, I'm all by my lonesome-ish...I'm staying with two assistants who stayed with me at the end of Feb during their vaca who live in Lille from today(Sun.) to Wed. On Mon, I'll explore Lille. On Tues, I'll go to Bruges for the day on my own which is my very first time in Belgium. I know Belgium is known for chocolate, fries, waffles and beer....oh, what a healthy day trip that will prob be! Then, early Wed. morning, I'll head to Tours and walk around the ville a bit. And from afternoon til night, I'll go on a mini tour where I'll get to visit two castles, Le Clos Luce(where DaVinci spent the last 3 years of his life) and end the day with a wine tour. Not too shabby pour Lea! Anyway, I might be back on this thing...might even post pics...but, I can't promise much. Oh well...we'll see! Better go for now, a bientot(ish)!

Kiddies make me laugh aka I make children cry

Ok, we're just going to ignore my utter and total abandonment of my blog and pretend like that didn't happen. I didn't have internet for-ev-er, is that an acceptable enough excuse? Well, it's gonna have to be. I literally didn't get it at home until after I got back from Xmas vaca...and, I just couldn't be arsed to go to net cafes to update. I'm a lazy bizznatch, yes I'm well aware:)

Anyways, moving on to the previously referred to subject matter(I'm an ass, yes), as much as the kids annoy me sometimes with their noise level despite my best efforts to get them to shut the (insert vulgarity if you so choose) up, they just are cuties sometimes. Take the kid who I do really think has a crush on me and everytime I wear a skirt, straighten my hair or just look nice, he always is the first to compliment me. It's so adorable, if he weren't in fourth grade, let's just say I'd be Mrs. French Student. It just cracks me up everytime, though and I just say "thank you" and move on, but really it kills me. Another example of how the kiddies make me laugh is like, for example, when one 7 or 8 yr old drew BOOBS(!!!) on his test to show me he knew what the word "girl" meant...that's just hilarious. Sometimes, I wonder if I shouldn't maybe be sitting with the kids rather than teaching...haha. Plus, I really am tons younger than all the other teachers and I feel like a kid a lot of times. Well, we all know I'm not thaaaat mature. maybe the cause? Probably explains why I put up with a lot more crap and am a lot less strict than the other teachers...hmm. Oh well. I've been trying to get better...which leads me to the second part of my post title.

I am a bad person. I make children cry...often. Oops, my B, I didn't know! Just today, one kid brought on the water works when I kicked him out of class for not shutting the * up after I gave him a warning by putting his name on the board and told him next time, he'd be kicked out. Well, I def gave him several "next times" and finally, I just kicked him out. Well, what do you know, his little lip started quivering, face turned red and on came the tears. This has happened before(not with him) and I just have to try to be immune to it because I know in about 2 minutes, he will be absolutely fine and he only missed a very minimum of the lesson in any case. But, it's hard to be immune...especially with the cute ones. Maybe that's mean to say, but it's true. Kids cry when they don't understand things(even 5th graders, which I find old)...well, how about you stop talking to your voisin for two seconds and listen and then maybe you'll get it? Ok, not alllll of them don't listen, but that has become a major pet peeve of mine and something I have little patience for. Not listening after I explain the activity mayyyybe THREE times and then asking, "on fait quoi?" I already explained it and maybe even had someone explain it in French if it seemed no one was getting it. Bastards. I mean, sweet little angels.

I'm not someone who has a ton of patience sometimes(I'm weird...it depends) and I really have noticed that I have less and less patience for the kids' shanannigans. Whether that's a good thing or not is definitely debateable, but I do find lately, I've had a better sense of control of the little buggers. You just need to manipulate, or rather, lie to them. You thought I was gonna say something nice, huh? I lie to the children on a daily basis.

Yes, of course I have a list of all your addresses to send a note home to your parents. Your, umm, teacher gave it to me...CLEARLY.
B**ch, what does that mean? I really couldn't tell you, is that German?

Etc, etc. Kids are suckers. Yes, I'm evil. No, but in all seriousness, things are going well and teaching really does seem like a possibility for the future. Teaching what level, what language and where are very different questions. On verra bien what the future brings. I gotta go make me some dinna, but we'll see what happens with this blog. With the internet at home(Free is the best deal EVER ps) and more time on my hands recently, things could be looking better for keeping this up. Talk soon...ish.

PS-Sorry if non-French speaking people are reading this, I can't help my Franglais. Got questions, just ask!
PPS-I meant to talk about how I found out from the principal that some of the kiddies at one of my schools were crying before English class and saying they didn't want to go, but realized I would write a novel. Short version: they weren't doing their homework and/or getting their test signed by their 'rents and were afraid to cause their team to lose points. It's called do your homework and btw, that's totally your fault. Anyway, I've sinced stopped giving lines as a punishment(that was part of the hmwk) as a lot of the rents were not d'accord with that and also, I'm making an effort to try to reward points as much as possible and some other different things...we'll see how it goes.
PPPS-I'd like to believe I'm more like the super teacher in the first pic, but the second pic has "shut it" written all over it and that seems more fitting! Haha.

En fait, I am alive

So, franchement gotta say things aren't looking that good for me keeping this puppy up. But, for those of you reading this aka probably only me right now, I did get into Rennes safe and sound and everything is going ridiculously smoothly so far which is unheard of in France and I am, therefore, awaiting something terrible to happen, but ça va très bien pour le moment. Will (or won't) write more later! A+